Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
