would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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