some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
