You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
