First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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