margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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