she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
