I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
