so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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