This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
