I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
