At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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