You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
