Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
