On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
