I wish my penis had an off switch
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
