That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
