Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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