Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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