I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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