Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
