He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
