and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
They have beer where we have blood.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize