I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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