so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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