I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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