While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
