just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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