Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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