My hair reeks of homosexuality.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
