There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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