i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
