I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
