If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
