you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
