So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
