i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm at about main and main street
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
