weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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