drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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