What a fucking waste of an outfit
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
