I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize