Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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