I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
