we have pet lesbian snakes
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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