He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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