Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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