but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
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Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
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What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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