Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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