And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We're too hungover to prance.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
