last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
