My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
