come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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