And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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