i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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