It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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