On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
