im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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