He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
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