I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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