Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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