Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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