did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
