she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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